I Think My Kids Are Cheating On Me

Both of my kids are deeply in love with their daycare teachers. Don't get me wrong – I'm thrilled that they have connected with these women, both of whom are young, energetic, and give them lots of attention. But truth be told, I am a little jealous.

Owen's love is Miss Katie. She's probably about 23, just out of college, full of energy and smiles and is all he talks about each day on the way to school. She's always in the breakfast room when he gets there, ready to take off his coat and give him a hug. If she's busy when he arrives he usually stands next to her with a hopeful look on his face, waiting for his morning high-five.

Jake's girlfriend is Miss Carlires. She's probably 20, and held him almost constantly until he turned 1. When I pick him up at the end of the day he usually smells like her perfume, proof that even though she claims she doesn't hold him anymore, she still does. There are days when I literally have to pry him away from her, and leave with him in tears, still reaching for her. And this is no one-sided affair: the other day she asked if she could bring him with her on a three-week trip to Dominica. And I think she was serious.

Again, I am very happy that they have connected with other adults who clearly love them back. But when Jake comes home smelling like perfume I've never worn, or when Owen says things like "wicked awesome" or "gimme five!" it reminds me once more that my children are spending more time with others than they are with me.

A coworker of mine recently brought up the same topic when talking about her 4-year-old daughter. The little girl burst into tears suddenly at home one night. When asked what was wrong she said she wanted to be with her teacher.

When will this parental guilt ever end? I am without question a proponent of daycare. I think my kids have gotten a huge benefit from it, and I shake my head in disgust at studies that try to link bad behavior to too much time in daycare.

In my experience, the opposite has been true. My kids will be more equipped to handle a full-day at school when they enter Kindergarten or First Grade. They will have social skills, be accustomed to a long day away from home, and adjust easily to new teachers and new children.

I just hope at least by the time they get there "wicked awesome" will be wiped from Owen's vocabulary and Jake will be far too heavy for anyone - regardless of their perfume - to carry around all day.