I just learned another valuable lesson about the rules of swearing when you're a mom: words that don't even count as curses are suddenly off limits too.
Like "stupid." And "crap."
How did I find this out? By referring to something as "stupid crap" in a conversation with my husband this weekend. We were in the car at the time, the kids strapped safely into their car seats behind us. Owen was playing with his toys – seemingly oblivious to our conversation – and Jake was sound asleep.
As I said it I actually gave myself a little mental pat on the back for cleaning up my language and not swearing.
And then I heard the tiny little voice from behind me:
"Stupid crap."
My husband, who was driving, gave me his when-will-you-ever-learn look and choked back a laugh.
"No naughty words, Owen," he said sternly. "Do you want to go sit in Miss Amber's room?"
Come on, seriously?? Is nothing sacred? Am I going to have to start saying "oh fudge," and "Honest to Pete" and "Gosh Golly Gee" when I'm really pissed off?
I want to be a good parent, but I don't want to turn into Ned Flanders or find some secret hideaway to run to when I really need to curse. At the same time I don't want my kids to be the ones cursing their little friends out on the playground.
Guess that Miss Amber really does have a point.
4 comments:
Once when Chloe was about 2 years old she was sitting in her princess pop-up play tent building a tower with some blocks, and as I walked past I thought I heard her mumbling some bad words under her breath. I paused to listen, and sure enough, to my amazement, my liitle ray of sunshine was cursing like a sailor. Her exact words were, "Jesus Christ F***ing Holy Cow." Quite the string of naughty words, huh? For years after that my friends and I would utter JCFHC whenever we were angry / upset / shocked / disappointed. Basically any significant event warranted a JCFHC. It's a very versatile phrase. And if it makes you feel any better, she's now a very polite 7 year old who would sooner eat a big bowl of spinach than say a bad word. She even expressed dismay when I was singing aloud to Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back", because, "MOM! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY SEXY!"
I've done that and had repeats, too. When we really need to swear, we do it in French or Italian. It may get repeated as well, but hopefully no one will know that it is a swear!
My daughter wrote her 4th grade composition about me yelling at my son for spilling his ding-dang-doodly spaghetti all over my ding-dang-doodly shoes which made her laugh so hard milk came out of her nose.
Ned Flanders
Hey Maggie, can you teach me a couple of those French ones? I love that idea.
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